THE
BLUE BOX (Recycled Ideas)
by Don Cox
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I've been trying for weeks to get a column written, but
it just doesn't want to come together. The topic is simple
and familiar enough, problems with Air Canada. I'm trying
to tell a story about how expensive it is to get to Newfoundland,
but it just doesn't want to flow. I had the parts all written,
but when I re-read them, they didn't seem to fit. Then I
read them again and they didn't really measure up anyway.
It's been a disturbing experience.
The part about making a special paper from moose droppings
was OK. I read about it in the Globe, this Swedish researcher
makes specialty papers, and his best is made from moose
scat. It is reported to have a unique and elegant gray tone
which makes it ideal for special occasions. Moose are plentiful
in Newfoundland, so there's plenty of raw material. I was
going to go there on Air Canada and effect a brilliant piece
of technology transfer. I would bring a new industry to
a hard pressed province. A grateful populace would sing
my praises and as a reward I would get an upgrade on my
Avis rental.
After that it kind of fell apart. Who wants to hear more
about Air Canada gouging the east, it's old stuff. So what
if I can get a return ticket to Portugal for 70% of a ticket
to the Rock, everybody knows that foreign destinations are
cheaper, it's got no impact any more. And that idea about
ceding Portugal Cove back to Portugal so it would be a foreign
distination, that's just a bit far fetched don't you think?
So who cares that on a per mile basis this would get you
to Newfoundland and back for about a hundred dollars. That's
really far fetched.
It's a compelling idea in some ways though. Suppose that
Portugal Cove became part of Portugal and Canada 3000 brought
in a flood of tourists for winter vacations. If they rigged
up a few thousand of the heat lamps left over from that
huge greenhouse that went belly up, they could warm up a
beach or two and make it suitable for bathing. Those stupid
mainlanders would never know the difference.
It could make lots of new jobs what with regulations,
customs and immigration, things like that. All sorts of
entry and exit visas would need to be printed, and they
would have to have some noticable differences to catch the
eye. Say!! How about printing them on a unique and elegant
paper with a grayish tone. The tourists could take them
home as keepsakes, or as a special treat for their house
plants.
Bluebox ©2001 Don Cox
Website ©2001 OttawaWEB
