THE
BLUE BOX (Recycled Ideas)
by Don Cox
Back to the index
Late last month I took another trip to Portugal, and this
is a report on some of the highlights. It used to be that
"a voyage of a 1000 miles begins with a single step." These
days it begins with a seven hour encapsulation in a charter
aircraft. People find it odd that a return charter flight
to Portugal from Toronto costs the same as a regularly scheduled
return flight from Ottawa to Halifax. Don't ask, it's just
one of those things.
The airlines, and especially the charter airlines, have
been steadily cramming more and more of us into smaller
and smaller spaces. Is there a precedent for this? Is there
an end in sight? I'm not sure, Canada 3000 gave us 18 inch
wide seats, but some carriers have provided as little as
15 inches. "What carriers?" you ask. Well, that would be
the slave ships in the 1800s, they provided 15 inch wide
slots, but you had to lay on your side for 8 hours at a
time, after which there was exercise on deck while the crew
hosed out the compartments. Canada 3000 is just 3 inches
short of the ultimate. Granted we were allowed to stand
up now and then and could look after personal ablutions.
We also were given something that might pass as food. After
seven hours we were allowed off while the crew hosed out
the airplane.
I think you must admit the similarity between charter
airlines and slavers is remarkable. Equally remarkable is
the fact that the charter companies arrived at their methods
without reading any history. History tells us that the slavers
sized their passengers, but charter airlines haven't discovered
this simple stratagem yet. Never fear, they will soon enough.
After all, there's no logic in giving a woman or a child
the same space as a grown man. I think we can expect the
charter lines to discover this great truth soon, it could
increase their passenger totals by maybe ten percent.
Another place where the slavers were more farsighted is
in the use of leg shackles. Charter airlines are completely
lacking in these simple devices, although many of their
staff on board have obviously thought of them and would
be cheerfully prepared to see them in regular use.
It certainly was a cramped and claustrophobic flight,
but this was soon forgotten when we finally left the airport
and burst forth into the morning sunshine of sunny Portugal.
I'll have more about that next week.
Bluebox ©2001 Don Cox
Website ©2001 OttawaWEB
