THE
BLUE BOX (Recycled Ideas)
by Don Cox
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Here we are hardly more than a month away from the new millennium,
and the retrospective and futuristic articles are beginning
to appear. We'll be flooded with them in the next few weeks.
Most of these articles will be a big yawn, boring us with
more nonsense about space aliens and how to live for four
hundred years. This is absolutely nothing compared with
what I am about to reveal to you, a monster science based
conspiracy involving a galactic struggle between two equally
balanced forces. Even better, I will tell you how we may
be able to tip the direction of the balance in our own best
interests. So my advice is to ignore what the professional
columnists are feeding you, it's just redigested verbiage.
Read the Blue Box and foresee the future in crystal clarity!
Two great discoveries in science will occupy the attention
of the coming decade, the ubiquitous presence of microscopic
black holes, and worm holes in the time fabric of space.
First, the black holes, everybody knows about the big ones
at the centers of galaxies, but there are microscopic ones
as well. These were postulated back in the '80s but no one
was paying attention. Let me give you an illustration. If
I leave an important document on my desk it rapidly gets
covered by incoming paper, but I know it's there somewhere.
However, if I wait past a critical time, I will look for
it in vain. Why? Because it has fallen into a microscopic
black hole. There's no other explanation. It's where all
lost objects go.
My theory is that when you have enough microscopic black
holes in close proximity they will cease to be benign. Where
there are many desks that harbour a veritable plethora of
important documents, the microscopic black holes coalesce.
Where will this happen? On the desks of thousands of law
firms, that's where. When a planet is supporting too many
lawyers, the microscopic black holes on their desks coalesce
into a voracious monster and suddenly the whole planet is
consumed. Lawyers are alien life forms devoted to bringing
this about. It will happen to the earth in the afternoon
of 25 Oct. 2028 unless a counterbalancing force is called
into play. I will now reveal to you an access to this celestial
counterbalance.
Everyone has had the experience of lost objects turning
up in unexpected places. For example a screw driver I know
I left on the kitchen table turned up unexpectedly in my
tool box. This can occur spontaneously via worm holes in
the space-time fabric, vortices where time convolution can
reassemble in altered coordinates. Alternatively, it may
simply be the work of the Evil Cleaning Lady. These entities
are a second alien life form which is devoted to destroying
microscopic black holes and bringing order to the desks
and tool boxes of the world. They are bent on forcing us
all into an unnatural state of organization that destroys
innovation and spontaneity. Lawyers on the other hand are
the embodiment of confusion and contradiction. Lawyers and
Evil Cleaning Ladies are inimical life forms.
I guess you can now see that we are balanced on a knife
edge. If we flee from the Scylla of legalism we risk falling
into the Charybdis of uniformity. It is up to us to maintain
the balance, to decide whether we are to be consumed by
the black hole of law, or to be set neatly and quietly on
our appointed shelf and be regularly dusted. Life is full
of agonizing decisions.
Bluebox ©2001 Don Cox
Website ©2001 OttawaWEB
