I went to bed last night with Blue Box on my mind, wondering
what would be a good topic for this week. Around 3 A.M.
I woke up in the middle of an interview on the CBC Overnight
program. The interviewee was an Indian astrologer who was
predicting that the world would end this weekend. I digested
this news with mixed emotions. It meant that my problems
finding material for next week's column were greatly simplified,
but on the other hand, I would never see my income tax refund
cheque. Then I realized that Revenue Canada was in all probability
deliberately withholding refund cheques until after the
end of the world. They'll go to any lengths to diddle the
taxpayers, those bastards. I went back to sleep in a foul
mood.
However, Sunday dawned and the world was still here, I
guess there must have been some mistake. Sunday was Mother's
Day, and traditionally I take a friend to the Chateau Montebello
for lunch along with a few of my neighbours. This year there
were only five of us since I couldn't find someone to go
with me. Last year you remember, I went with my friend and
travelling companion, Ingrid, who during lunch upstaged
the string quartet with an impromptu performance on her
zither. I kept hoping she would turn up unexpectedly and
save the day again, but no such luck. Over lunch one of
my neighbours wondered out loud why I appeared unable to
find someone to live with me. I replied that unlike him
I didn't need to exploit a woman in order to have a full
life. That put the cat amongst the pigeons I can tell you,
and provided a lively discussion for the rest of the meal.
I got a call from the Swami Prem Samerpan when I returned
from the Chateau, which put me firmly back in a good mood.
He's planning to visit me during the coming week providing
his carpet passes its monthly airworthiness check. As usual
the Swami was full of otherworldly news. The recent conjunction
of Mars and Jupiter had contributed to his karma and to
his personal energy. I inquired about the state of his personal
momentum, but didn't get a coherent answer. The really big
discovery in his life, he told me, was the origin of the
ubiquitous Happy Face. This is the circle with two eyes
and a smiling mouth within it that waitresses put on the
bottom of big bills. The Swami has discovered that the Happy
Face came from Mars originally. "Have a look at the
Galle crater at www.jpl.nasa.gov/mgs/" he told me.
I had a look, and sure enough, it's there. Well, if the
Martians gave us the Happy Face, I guess that's not the
end of the world.
Bluebox ©2001 Don Cox
Website ©2001 OttawaWEB
