THE
BLUE BOX (Recycled Ideas)
by Don Cox
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Thought I would give you a bit more about my recent holiday,
and how the world appears as seen from the vantage point
of Belize. I remember being in Portugal and missing the
Globe and Mail every morning. Strangely enough I never missed
it in Belize. In Portugal there are newspapers, book stores
and TV, it's not so different from home really. In Corozol
in northern Belize where I was staying I never did find
a news stand or a book store. I did see a couple of law
offices for sale however, which is a healthy sign. Speaking
of signs, you can have them in any language you like in
Belize, inside or outside the buildings. There's no mechanical
inspection of cars, you don't have to wear seat belts, and
if you have a motor bike, a helmet is nobody's choice but
yours.
In other words, the human environment is completely different,
and everything is viewed from a changed perspective. The
natural environment is different as well. All the trees,
the shrubs, the grasses, the wild flowers and the birds
are unfamiliar to someone from the north. It's a distinct
society, which of course makes it ideal for us Canadians
who are used to such things.
My friend the healer was trying to enlighten me about local
customs during an evening on the terrace with a bottle of
coconut rum. He's a bush doctor, he explained, not a witch
doctor. Although some of the things I had seen while accompanying
him on house calls might have seemed unorthodox, they were
quite normal by local standards. He uses well tested and
accepted third world folk medicines and augments them with
some of the simpler first world tests and treatments. However,
when he encounters people who have had a "badness"
put on them, then like any good G.P., he refers them to
a specialist, the spirit doctor. He became more expansive
as the rum slowly disappeared, and I pressed him for more
details about the "badness". "Well",
he said, "someone could obtain some of your personal
relics like hair or fingernails, take them to a voodoo witch
and have a badness put on you, it's very common and very
effective here in the Caribbean."
I laughed and said that these primitive customs might be
effective here, but they wouldn't work in Canada. There
was a long silence while he refilled his glass, and regarded
me with a quiet but serious concern. "Since I saw you
last", he said, "you have acquired a serious scoliosis,
and can't walk without a cane. You've also lost a lot of
weight. More than that, you tell me that your doctors can't
identify any cause." "I guess you know what I'm
thinking", he added. It was my turn to fill the glass.
The next morning found me in a thatched hut in Xiabe village,
the home of the spirit doctor, a kindly old gentleman with
grey hair and bad teeth. It was a long involved ritual,
and I'm forbidden to give you details. Suffice it to say
that it required a warmed egg broken in a glass of water,
and a cross painted on the backs of my hands. When the seance
was over the spirit doctor confirmed that I was victim to
a strong badness. "Is there some Caribbean person who
would have reason to put a badness on you?" the doctor
wanted to know. With a blinding flash of insight I suddenly
realized the origin. Years ago I worked for the National
Research Council of Canada, and the Vice President I worked
for, a Jamaican, developed a strong dislike for me. He must
be the source of the badness! Amazing discovery!
So let this be a lesson to all of you. Never cross a member
of the Canadian government bureauocracy, they will go to
any extent to get back at you. You have been warned!
Bluebox ©2001 Don Cox
Website ©2001 OttawaWEB
